浩瀚萬象（ONENESS）

（回到《一的法則》（英漢對照）目錄）

（參閱《一的法則》第十八場集會）

（參閱《一的法則》第十九場集會）

The Law of One, Book V, Fragment 9

Session 18, February 4, 1981

一的法則：卷五，片斷九

Jim:
At the beginning of Session 18, in response to a general query from Don concerning the information Ra was transmitting to our group, Ra innocently “told on” Carla. A good friend of hers had offered her the opportunity to experience the effects of LSD, which she had never experienced before. She used it twice in early February of 1981 as a programming device to attempt to achieve an experience of unity with the Creator, but she did not wish Don to know about these experiences since he was very much against the use of any illegal substances at any time and especially during the time during which our group was working with the Ra contact. In a later session it will be suggested by Ra that these two experiences were arranged by the negative entities monitoring our work with those of Ra in hopes that Carla’s ability to serve in the Ra contact might be hindered. As a result of this particular session it was the determination of the three of us that there would be no further use of any illegal substances for as long as we were privileged to work with the Ra contact so that no chinks in our “armor of light” that we could eliminate would be present and so that the Ra contact could never be associated with the use of any such drugs.

Jim 評論：
在第十八場集會的開頭，Don 詢問 Ra 傳遞給我們小組的資訊的特性，Ra 在回應時，無辜地打了 Carla 的“小報告”。
她的好朋友給予 Carla 一個機會經驗 LSD 的效應，那是她從未有的經驗。
她在 1981 年二月初使用兩次 LSD，做為一個編程裝置，嘗試獲得一個與造物者合一的經驗。但她不想讓 Don 知道，因為他很反對使用任何非法的物質，特別是在我們小組與 Ra 接觸的工作期間。
在後來的一場集會，Ra 認為這兩次經驗是由監督我們工作的負面實體所安排的，它們希望藉此使得 Carla 服務 Ra 通訊的能力受到阻礙。
在該場集會結束後，我們三個決定只要 Ra 通訊持續的一天，就不再使用任何非法的物質；好讓我們的“光之甲冑”不會有裂縫，同時 Ra 通訊也絕不會跟任何毒品有牽連。

The information on Aleister Crowley is self-explanatory and underlines again the caution that each seeker must take in moving carefully through its energy centers in a balanced fashion.

克勞里的資訊很清楚，無須多做解釋，它再次強調每一個尋道者必須小心謹慎，以平衡的方式運作自己的各個能量中心。

By chance, a few sessions earlier, we had discovered that sexual intercourse was an aid to Carla’s vital energies during the trance state and would increase the length of a session if engaged in the night before a session was to be held. Thus at the end of Session 18, when Don asked how we might avoid further difficulties in the contact, Ra affirmed the aid which we had discovered sexual intercourse provided. We also found that the conscious dedication of the act of love-making to the service of others via the Ra contact increased its beneficial effects.

在偶然的機會，大約幾個 Ra 集會以前，我們發現性交對於 Carla 處於出神狀態的生命能有幫助，而且如果在某場 Ra 集會舉行的前夕從事性交，可以增加該場集會的長度。因此在第十八場集會的盡頭，Don 問到我們如何可以避免通訊上進一步的困難，Ra 肯定我們發現的協助方式，即性交。我們也發現有意識地將做愛行動獻給服務他人的目的，透過 Ra 通訊，可增加其有益的效應。

Carla:
As a young college woman, I never dated or spent time with anyone who smoked marijuana or took LSD, or any other drugs. People all around me were experimenting, but I never was offered any drugs. It was the day of flower children and high ideals, a wonderful time to be young. The hippies ruled but I was only an honorary flower child, since I worked steadily throughout that decade. In 1981, I was 38. When an old friend offered to let me try LSD, I was tickled and eager to try it, for I had long been curious to see what this muchtouted substance did to one’s head. In the event, I thoroughly enjoyed the experiences—I tried LSD twice—and found that there really was a wonderful increase in the sense of rightness of things under its benign influence on me. Since then, I have heard from many people that my utterly positive experiences with LSD were somewhat atypical, in that most people deal with at least a little hallucination or departure from consensus reality, or even a negatively experienced “high,” or bad trip. So I was either lucky, or my subconscious mind was more settled in its own skin than some others. I’d bet on luck!

Carla 評論：
作為一個年輕的大學女子，我幾乎沒有約會，也沒有和任何吸大麻或吸食 LSD 的同學們在一起，也沒有用任何的迷幻藥物，在我周遭的人們都在做這種迷幻的實驗，然而我卻沒有去使用，或者有人給我任何這樣的迷幻藥，那些日子是花兒（flower child）的世代，崇高理想的年代，在那個時期，當年輕人真的很美妙，那是個嬉皮統治的時代，而我只算是個榮譽的花兒，那我在那十年之間很穩健的走過。
一直到 1981 年我那時 38 歲，有一個老朋友建議我試試看 LSD，我彷彿當時被搔到癢處，很急切想要試試看，因為我老早就很好奇就想知道這個被大力宣揚的物質對於人的腦袋到底有什麼影響？在這個事件中，我完全的享受這個經驗，我嚐試過 LSD 二次，並且發覺這個經驗真的是很美妙，因為它提昇了我對事物正確性的感覺，感覺 LSD 對我有益的影響，從那個時候我就從很多人口中得知，我對於 LSD 這種全然正面的經驗算是有些不正常的反應。因為大多數人接觸 LSD至少都會有一點幻覺或是離開一般公認的實相的那種抽離感，甚至有一些負面的體驗，就是比較負面的“陶醉”旅程，所以我想可能我比較幸運，或者跟其他人相比我的潛意識比較穩定，但我會賭幸運這邊。

Needless to say, I was not happy to learn that Ra had blithely told my secret to Don. I valued Don’s opinion above all things, and he was not pleased with my judgment in taking illegal substances. But I did not, and do not, feel guilty or ashamed for satisfying my curiosity, under circumstances as safe as one could make them. I also have tried cigarettes and alcohol, both heavily addictive substances, but rarely drink and never use tobacco. (In cooking, however, I use many different spirits, as they offer such delightful notes when put into the harmony of cooking things.) My curiosity was satisfied, and I moved on. The freedom to do this, to know what is out there, is a valuable one, to my mind, if not abused. Moderation seems to me the key.

不消說當我知道 Ra 很爽快地把我的小秘密告訴 Don，我並不怎麼快樂，因為我珍惜 Don 的意見勝過一切事物，Don 對於我決定使用非法物質這件事很不高興，但我過去不會，現在也不會覺得有罪惡感或者覺得羞恥，因為我只是要滿足我的好奇心並且是在一個安全的環境下，是一個人可以做到安全的限度，我同時也曾嘗試過抽香煙以及喝酒，這二個物質都很容易使人重度上癮。
但我很少喝酒，也沒用過煙草，［然而在烹飪的時候，我會用許多不同的白酒（spirits），然後因為它們會提供一些很愉悅的音符可以讓整個烹飪更加和諧］。
我的好奇心得到滿足，然後我繼續向前，我有自由這麼做，知道外面有些什麼東西，這是寶貴的經驗，以我的心智來說，我不覺得我濫用這份自由，對我而言，中庸是個關鍵。

I have very fond memories of reading Aleister Crowley’s autohagiography to Don. He did not like to read, so I frequently read to him. Once we got into this outrageous, brilliant man’s work, we were fascinated. Crowley is a fine writer, regardless of what his polarity might have been fumbling around with. Our favorite poem of his is a perfectly ghoulish nursery rhyme he wrote as a precocious toddler. It begins, “In her hospital bed she lay, rotting away, rotting away, rotting by night and rotting by day, rotting and rotting and rotting away.” Now that I have told you this, you may perhaps see why this character grew up to become … eccentric! But always interesting.

閱讀克勞里的傳記給 Don 聽是我十分珍愛的回憶。他不喜閱讀，所以我經常唸書給他聽。有一次，我們碰到這個無法無天、才氣縱橫的男人的作品，我們都感到著迷。克勞里是位傑出的作家，先不管他在處理極性上可能有點失誤。
他在早熟的童年期寫過一首詩，屬於他的最愛作品之一，詩的開頭如下：
“在她的病床她躺著，腐爛凋零，在夜間腐爛，在白晝腐爛，不斷地腐爛腐爛，繼續腐爛。”
現在你可以看出為什麼這號人物長大會變得那麼… 古怪！但總是那麼有趣。

In working to fit myself into Don’s requirements for a mate, I became a user of relative ethics, a practice that seems always to offer a challenge eventually. Don wished to be celibate, which became obvious to me within six months of our coming together in 1968. I always said that his inability to resist me for those first few months we lived together was my greatest compliment of all time! I attempted a celibate life, after we had talked this issue through, for a little over two years, before I concluded that celibacy was not for me. Don had also decided that we should not marry. This implied, to me, a relationship based on a commonality in a metaphysical rather than a physical sense. Always logical, I suggested to Don that we make an agreement: I would tell him before I took a lover, and when I had ceased seeing him. In between, there was no need to discuss it. This would preclude his hearing about such company from others. As he was gone flying about half the time, I had no difficulty in finding time for the lovers’ relationship. My lover for most of the time Don and I spent together, ten of the sixteen years, was a trusted and much-loved buddy of mine ever since high school. We had thought of marriage years before, and then decided against it, but we’d remained close. He got the notion to come see me perhaps once a month. I stopped seeing him when he began to wish to take our relationship further, and I was celibate again for some four years before Jim. When Jim began coming to the group, we eventually got together, and he became my lover. All of this was done in the good mutual faith between Donald and me. He was genuinely happy for me to have these relationships, and they did not intrude upon our harmony.

在這段相處過程中，我想辦法把自己調適符合 Don 對一個伴侶的要求，我成為一個相對道德論的用戶。這個習俗它總是最後會提供一個挑戰。事情是這樣的，Don 想要禁慾，這件事在我們交往六個月之後變得明顯，那段時期是1968 年，我總是說在一開始那幾個月他沒有能力抗拒我，與我同居，是我這一生中（獲得）的最大讚美！
我嚐試過一個禁慾的生活，當我們把這個話題談開之後，大概過了二年多一點，我做出結論，禁慾並不適合我。Don 也覺得我們不應該結婚。這一點向我暗示了我們的關係是建立在形而上的共同基礎，而不是建立在物質的基礎上，這是很合邏輯的，於是我和 Don 進行我們可以做一個協議，也就是我會在找到一個愛人之前先告訴他，然後當我停止和他交往的時候，我也會告訴他，在我跟其他愛人交往的過程中間，都沒有必要去討論這件事。這樣協議的好處就是他可以這個過程中避免聽到我又和誰在一起的這些瑣事。因為他幾乎有一半的時間都在空中飛翔，所以我沒有困難地挪出時間去找到一個愛人的關係，最長時間的愛人關係大約維持有十年，而我跟 Don 在一起相處的時間有十六年，關於我這一個愛人，他是值得信賴而且很受喜愛的一個男人，我們從高中的時候就認識了，我們曾經想過結婚但最後決定不要這麼做，但是我們始終保持緊密親密，他的想法是大約每個月來找我一次，但是當他開始希望我們的關係更進一步時，我就停止去找他了，於是我又再次禁慾大約有四年之久，直到遇到 Jim。當 Jim 開始進入這個小組的時候，我們最終在一塊，而且他成為我的愛人。所有這些事情都是建立在良好的互相信賴，介於唐納與我之間的信心。他純然地為我高興，能夠擁有這些關係，而這些事情並沒有妨礙到我們的和諧。

However, in time, after Donald’s death, it became clear to me that my relationship with Jim, especially the intimately sexual part of it, did bother Don at a level below the threshold of his awareness, or mine, for that matter. I doubt he ever realized or acknowledged the emotion. I certainly never saw any trace of it, and I am a sensitive person, able to pick up nuances of feeling. But he must have felt these things, and it led him, in the end, to lose faith in my allegiance. And that completely misplaced doubt was the weakness in his armor of light that resulted in his dying.

無論如何，在唐納死後的一段時期，我終於有一些比較清晰的輪廓，也就說我與 Jim 的關係，特別是親密的性欲這部份，確實在某個很深的層次打擾了 Don，是在他潛意識底下很深的地方，關於這件事，我懷疑他是否了解或認可有這樣的情感，我當然從來沒有看到這方面的痕跡，而且我是個很敏感的人，能夠偵測到感覺微細的部份，我想他一定有感覺到這些事情，而在最終這樣的感覺導引他失去對我的忠誠之信心，而這個完全被錯置的疑惑正是他光之盔甲的弱點，最後導致他的死亡。

Long are the hours I have spent reflecting upon this matter. On the one hand, if I had been completely chaste and celibate, he would never have doubted me. He would have still been living, and with me. But we would not have had the contact with Ra that gave us the Law Of One material, because it was the combined energy of us three that contacted Ra, not myself as channel, or any one of us as L/L Research, or even L/L Research as an entity. This is clear from the simple dates: Jim came to L/L permanently on December 23, 1980, and we received our first contact from those of Ra on January 15, 1981, less than three weeks after Jim moved in. And Donald felt from the first session with Ra that this was his life’s work, the culmination of all he had been through since the ’50s, and his gift to the world. Logic fails in matters like these. One can hew completely and faithfully to the agreements one has made, and still err.

我花了很多的時間去反省這一個事件，從一方面來說，如果我能做到完全的貞潔跟禁慾，他就絕對不會懷疑我，他到今日還是活著的，並且與我同在。
但是我們就不會有與 Ra 的通訊，不會有 Ra 傳遞給我們的一的法則資料，因為是我們三個的綜合能量，才能夠接觸Ra，不是我自己，不是做為器皿的我，也不是我們當中的任何一個，甚至也不是 L/L 研究機構這個實體。
從簡單的日期來看就很清楚了，Jim 來到 L/L機構的日期是 1980 年 12 月 23 日，而我們接收到第一次 Ra 的通訊是在 1981 年 1 月 15 日，在 Jim 搬進來的三週之內， Ra 的通訊就開始。從第一次與 Ra 的集會開始，唐納感覺到，他就知道這是他畢生的工作，是他從 50 年代進行研究以來所累積的最高峰，是他給予這個世界的禮物，在這些事情中，有時候邏輯是失靈的，一個人可以完全的遵守，信實的遵守這些協議，然而卻還是會犯錯。

If one can move beyond the mythic tragedy of Donald’s death, and believe me, one can, after a decade or so, barely, one begins to see the inherent humor in that human, prideful assumption that one can control one’s destiny by doing only what is seen as right. One can certainly try to be without error or sin. My pride in myself as being one who always keeps her word blinded me to the suspicions Donald had, but kept completely to himself. His lack of faith in any opinion but his own, even when completely healthy of mind, made it more likely that when he became mentally ill, he would experience paranoia. It is a perfect tragedy.

如果一個人能夠從唐納神祕的死亡悲劇走出來的話，相信我，再經過十年左右，我們可以開始看見人類與生俱來的一種幽默，就是我們會驕傲的假設，一個人可以控制自己的命運，只要認為去做他認為對的事，一個人當然可以嚐試毫無錯誤或者毫無罪惡，在我內在的驕傲，就是我認為我總是可以信守我的承諾，這樣的驕傲使我盲目了，讓我看不見唐納內心潛藏的懷疑，而他將這股懷疑完全的保存在他的內心深處。
他對於任何意見都缺乏信心，除了他自己的意見，即使在他心智完全健全的時候，因此當他心智生病的時候，他就更有可能懷疑別人，經驗偏執狂，這整個過程是一個完美的悲劇。

Don wanted always and only my presence. He never asked for anything else, with the exception of the work we did together. He even begrudged me the time to work on his projects when he was at home. I did all the work for the books we wrote together while he was flying. When he was home, my job was to be in the same room he was in. I was delighted to do this. He could never bring himself to express it, but well I knew how devoted he was, and I felt the same. We had little choice in this; we both felt we were destined to be together, that we were truly star-crossed. Loving him was like breathing, and it did not matter how his needs impinged on mine. Indeed, my spiritual adviser said more than once that I was guilty of idolatry. I did not care what had to be lost to achieve his comfort. I knew these losses included marriage, home and children, things I valued highly and had hoped for. But we were “home” to each other in a way I cannot describe. He rested me, and I, him. I received two compliments from him, in our whole life together. He did not want to spoil me! The lessons were to see through the issues of home, family and reassurance to the ground of being that we shared, to the sensibility we had in common. I embraced them. He was worth whatever it cost. I look back and know I would not change anything. All our choices were made as well as we could make them.

Don 他總是要我在他身旁，他從來沒有要求過任何其他事，除了我們一起做的這件工作以外。當他在家的時候，他甚至不願意給我一些時間去做他工作的計劃。
當他在空中飛翔的時候，我就負責編輯我們共同寫的書籍。
而當他在家，我的工作就是跟他處於相同的房間，我很愉悅的做這件事。
他從來沒有很明顯的表現這一點，但我很清楚他是多麼的誠摯的想與我在一起，我也感覺到同樣的感覺，我們在這件事上，幾乎沒有別的選擇。我們都同時感覺到我們是命定的，是命運把我們牽在一起，我們的命運真的很坎坷（star-crossed），但愛他就彷彿像呼吸一般，我一點也不在乎他的需要加諸在我身上。事實上我的靈性指導師曾經不止一次說過我犯了罪，我犯了盲目崇拜的罪，我並不在乎為了使他得到舒適我必須損失什麼，我知道這些損失包含：婚姻、家庭、以及小孩，這幾件事是我很早就渴望，並且是非常珍惜的東西。然而對於我們彼此而言，我們就是彼此的“家”，這個感覺是我沒辦法形容的。
他在我身上得到安歇，我也在他身上得到安歇。在我們相處整個生活過程中，我只從他身上得到他二個讚美，他的確不想寵壞我！
在這裡的功課就是能夠看穿家庭以及家人的這些議題，並且從我們彼此享有的存有的根基以及我們共有的感情得到再次的保證，我擁抱它們，他值得一切的代價，我回顧這一切知道如果時間可以倒流我不會改變任何的事情，所有的選擇將會是起初所做的那些選擇。

This was the jigsaw puzzle within which we were living, in the world-drama, soap-opera consensus reality of our everyday lives. Carla and Don worked perfectly, as did Jim and Carla, and Don and Jim, who loved each other like family from the first meeting. These relationships were strong and true. Naught could have come between us except for doubt. It never occurred to me that Donald could mistake my fondness for Jim for any sort of alteration in Don’s and my un-marriage version of being wed—and we were indeed truly wed, in spirit. You can imagine my wretchedness when one of his friends told me, long after the funeral, that Don had thought I had fallen out of love with him. I was flabbergasted, completely unaware of these doubts, so it never occurred to me to reassure him. How I wish I had! But I was grieving, for the man I knew was gone, and what took his place was a person in very bad need of help. And I was angry that he would not seek help, or follow any medical suggestions. He was my world, and without him, I felt I did not exist. I think most of my grieving was done before his death, in those surrealistic months when he was so very ill, and nothing I did to help was of avail. It took years after he died for me to come to a new sense of myself. That I have now done so is a gift of grace from the Creator, and has been greatly aided by Jim’s sensitive treatment of me during the long years of confinement with debilitating episodes of arthritis and other troubles in the decade following Don’s death, and during my rehab period in 1992. For the first six years after Don died, I actively felt I should kill myself, because I had “caused” his death, inadvertently, but surely. This was my longest walk in the desert until this present moment. I was resigned to having this basic mind-set for the rest of my life, and I was not aware that time had begun its healing work until I picked up something I’d written and forgot about. I read it anew, and thought, “you know, I like this person.” Six years in the desert! Many were the times I was tempted to lay down my faith, but I could not, would not do that. So I survived, and waited for grace. The lesson here is simply that waiting does bring all things to one. Patience cannot be overvalued in the spiritual journey.

我們都活在一個拼圖遊戲之中，在這個世界的戲劇中，在這個肥皂劇中，在我們每天生活的共同實相，Carla 與 Don 彼此完美的工作，而 Jim 跟 Carla 也完美的共同工作，同時 Don 跟 Jim 也可以完美的一起工作，這三個人彼此相愛，就好比家人一樣，從第一次的集會開始就是如此。
這些關係是強烈且真實的，沒有什麼東西可以介入我們之間，除了疑慮。
我從來沒有想到 Don 會將我對 Jim 的喜愛誤會成我們盟約的改變，雖然我們在形式上並沒有結婚，我們真的在靈性中已經結婚了，你可以想到我那種悲慘的感覺，當 Don 的一個朋友在葬禮過後一段時間告訴我，Don 曾經想過我已經掉出他的情網，我大吃一驚，完全的沒有覺察到這些疑慮，因為我從來沒有想過要跟他再三保證（對他的忠誠），我多麼希望我曾這樣做！
但我那時很悲痛，因為我所認識的那個男人已經走了，而取代他的位置的人是（同）一個非常需要幫助的人。
我很憤怒，因為他當時竟然沒有尋求幫助或者跟隨任何醫生的建議，他就是我的世界，沒有他我感覺我並不存在。
我想在他肉身死亡之前，我大部份的悲傷與淚水都已經流光了，在這些超現實的歲月中，他是那樣的不健康，我做的事沒有一件是真正有幫助的，在他為我而死之後的許多年歲，我對於自己有一個新的觀點，也就是我現在所做的事情，都是來自造物主的恩寵禮物，同時得到 Jim 大大的協助，他很敏銳地治療我在那漫長的歲月中，在我得風濕關結炎以及許多創傷禁錮我的日子裡，以及在 Don 死後十年種種肉體上的麻煩，還有我在 1992 年的復健時期。
在 Don 死後的前六年，我積極地覺得我應該把自己殺死，因為是我“造成”他的死亡，這是很悲慘的想法，但是很確切的，那可以說是我在沙漠中行走的最長旅程，直到今日。我已經放棄這種基本的思考態度了，我過去並沒有覺察時間已經開始它的治療工作，直到我撿起某件我所寫的東西，那是我忘記的東西。我再一次讀著它，心中想著「你知道嗎？我喜歡這個人！」六年在沙漠的期間！有多少次我被誘惑想放下我的信仰，但我不能，我也不願這麼做，所以我存活下來了，等待恩寵。在這裡的功課單純的就是等待可以將一切事物帶回合一的狀態。在靈性的旅程中，耐心再怎麼強調也不為過。

This world remains to me a sea of confusion. Knowing well how much I have erred, in what I have done and what I’ve left undone, and knowing how little I understand, I am well content to remain in the hands of destiny. One of my desires in publishing this personal material is to expose, with utter lack of modesty or fear, the humanness of the three of us. We were not “worthy” of the Ra contact, in the sense of being perfect people. We were three pilgrims who found comfort in each other, and who sought honestly and deeply to serve the light. The material is completely apart from who any of us was or is, and we are not to be confused with Ra, as having some sort of special excellence. This just is not so.

這個世界對我而言仍就是一片混淆的大海，我很清楚的知道過去我犯了多少錯，我做了什麼事，還有那些事是還沒做到。我也知道我所理解的東西是非常的微小，我很滿足的停留在命運之手之中，我出版這本個人資料的渴望就是希望能夠暴露出我們三個人當中人性的那一面，完全沒有去顧慮謙虛或者恐懼。
說實在我們並不“值得” Ra 通訊，如果說做為完美的人才能接收到 Ra 訊息。
我們只是三個朝聖者，我們在彼此之間找到安慰，我們是誠實地去尋求，深深地嚐試服務光。這個資料是完全跟我們分開的，跟我們過去是什麼，現在是什麼，都沒有關係。請不要把我們跟 Ra 混淆在一起，或者認為我們有某種特別優越的特質，這真的不是這樣。

Are relative ethics OK? I still believe they are, and that keeping carefully made agreements is a real key to harmonious living and clear relationships. But it is just the best we can do. That doesn’t make it perfect. Further, one cannot expect the universe to bless us with perfect peace just because we are keeping our agreements. We all are blindsided by life itself, and continue only by blunder, faith and a good humor in the face of all. There is an art to cooperating with destiny. And may I say, I am grateful to James Allen McCarty for that selfsame good humor, and for deciding with me, three years after Don’s death, to take hold of our friendship and create a marriage between us. He was most ill-suited to such, as I said, and his gallant cheer and courtesy in accommodating himself to this role has been and continues to be remarkable to me. Truly, he has been a good companion through many waters.

相對道德論 OK 嗎？我現在仍然相信它們是 OK 的，只要小心的遵守協議，這是通往和諧生活與清晰關係的關鍵，這是我們能做到的最佳狀態，但並不保證完美，進一步的，一個人不能因為他保持每一項協議他就期待宇宙會祝福他，給他完美的平安，並沒有這樣的一回事，我們全都被生命本身出其不意地襲擊（blindsided），我們繼續犯錯，然而也繼續虔守我們的信心跟保持良好的幽默感面對這一切，這是與命運合作的一項藝術，容我這樣說。我很感謝 Jim McCarty，他總是保持他良好的幽默，並且在 Don 死後三年決定跟我在一起，我們繼續保持我們的友誼，並且在我們之間創造出一個婚姻，事實上他是最不適合這種關係（婚姻）的。
他英勇的喜悅感及禮節，這二項特質使他能夠逐漸地適應這個角色，而且持續地保持顯著的聲譽。說真的在經過這麼多年的風風雨雨，他確實是很好的同伴。

One thing is sure: in true love, the star-crossed kind, there is incredible sweetness, but also immense pain. Don was a hard man to love. Not communicative in the usual sense, he never said what he wanted of me, but just waited for me to guess right. I did not mind, and still am glad of every bit of pain I went through trying to be what he needed me to be, which was essentially without sexuality or the usual reassurance of words, yet greatly intimate. In the density we came from, we were already one, Ra said. So there was an ultimate satisfaction in being with Don, having to do much more with eternity than any particular time or space. What Jim and I had and have is the devoted love of old friends and lovers, who have an earthly pilgrimage together. Our time together is child’s play after Don, as far as my being able to handle whatever happens with us. Jim will communicate until we find every bit of misunderstanding, and so we have an easy time of it and when we do have catalyst together, it is quickly worked through. Jim’s never had that ultimate romance, and occasionally misses it. But what we do have is so good to us that we have found a considerable happiness with each other, and the good work we have between us.

有件事是確定的，在真愛中，那流星劃過般（star-crossed）的戀情，有著不可思議的甜美，同時也有著巨大的痛苦。Don 是一個很難，不容易，去愛的男人，以一般的角度而言，幾乎沒有所謂的溝通可言，他從來沒有說過他要我給他什麼，他只是在那邊等著，等我猜到對的答案。我不介意，我仍然很高興我所經歷的每一分痛苦，嚐試去成為他要我成為的那一個人物，我們的關係在本質上沒有性關係，也沒有通常的言語保證，然而卻是那樣十分地親密。 Ra 曾經說過在我們來自的密度，我們早已是一體的，所以單純的跟 Don 在一起即是一種終極的滿足。
我與 Don 的關係比較多與永恆有關，而不是跟特定的時間或空間有關。而 Jim 跟我的關係其實是一種像老朋友般的誠摯的愛以及一般的戀人關係，一起在地球上走過這一趟朝聖之旅。
在 Don 過世之後，我跟Jim 相處的時光就變成小孩的玩耍。在我跟Jim 的生活中，我能處理任何我們之間發生的任何事情，而Jim 會設法與我溝通，直到我們找出我們之間每一分誤解的地方，所以我們之間的相處是很容易的。我們生活當然也會有一些催化劑，但是都很快的能夠化解。
Jim 從未有過那終極的浪漫，他甚至有些時候還會錯過浪漫。然而我們所做的都是對我們好的，我們也找到了可觀的幸福，在彼此之中找到快樂。我們也一起做了良好的工作。

We see ourselves as still working for and with Don, keeping L/L’s doors open and our hearts as well, and living the devotional life that we have learned about from the Confederation teachings. These teachings are at one with universal wisdom as well as my Christian heritage, and have to do simply with living in love. This is such a simple teaching that it escapes many people. But that focus upon Love is one’s access to truth, and one’s willingness to keep the heart open, which one may call faith, is the energy that brings to us all that was meant for us, both of lessons to learn and of service to offer.

我們看待自己仍然是為 Don 工作，與 Don 一起工作，同時繼續保持L/L 機構的大門敞開，也保持我們的心敞開，繼續活出奉獻的生活，那是我們從星際聯邦的教導中學到的，這些教導是與宇宙的智慧是一體的，也跟我所信仰的基督傳承是一致的，這些教導單純地指出我們要活在愛中。這個簡單的教導卻逃出許多人的眼睛。將焦點放在愛之上，是一個人通往真理的入口，一個人願意去隨時保持心的敞開，或者可以稱為是一種信心，這樣的能量把我們帶到一切有意義的地方，即應該學習的功課以及可以提供的服務。

And above all, we may acknowledge, for once and for all, that we are but dust, unless we are living in Love. This helps one to deal with sorrows that inevitably visit our lives. We are not supposed to be in control, or perfect, or any particular thing, but just those who continue to love, through whatever confusion there is. Sheer persistence in faith, regardless of the illusion, is the key to many blessings.

而置於一切之上的是，我們決定性地認知到，我們不過是跟塵土一般，除非我們活在愛中。這樣的認知可以幫助一個人去面對哀傷，而哀傷在我們生活中是無可避免的，我們並不被期許要時時保持完美或者可以掌控一切事物，而是做為一個人，繼續地去愛，去穿越不管怎樣的困境，怎樣的困惑，全然的堅持在信心之中，不管幻象是呈現怎樣的情況，這樣的堅持是通往許多祝福的鑰匙。

Session 18, February 4, 1981

第十八場集會，1981 年 2 月 4 日

Questioner: I was thinking last night that if I was in the place of Ra right now, the first distortion of the Law of One might cause me to mix some erroneous data with the true information that I was transmitting to this group. Do you do this?

問：我昨晚在想，如果我現在處於 Ra 的位置，一的法則之第一變貌可能使我將一些錯誤資料混雜在真實的資訊當中傳遞給這個小組，你會這樣做嗎？

Ra: I am Ra. We do not intentionally do this. However, there will be confusion. The errors which have occurred have occurred due to the occasional variation in the vibrational complex of this instrument due to its ingestion of a chemical substance. It is not our intent in this particular project to create erroneous information but to express in the confining ambiance of your language system the feeling of the infinite mystery of the one creation in its infinite and intelligent unity.

RA︰我是 Ra，我們不會故意這樣做，無論如何，混淆是存在的。已發生的錯誤是由於該器皿攝取一種化學物質，導致其振動複合體偶爾的變動。
並不是我們有意在這個特別計畫中去創造錯誤的訊息。而是在你們侷限的語言系統的氛圍之中，要表達太一造物的無限神秘與它的無限與智能的合一，（必然）產生的混淆。

Questioner: Can you tell me what the chemical substance is that, when ingested, causes poor contact?

問︰你能否告訴我是哪種化學物質的攝取導致了不良通訊？

Ra: I am Ra. This is not a clear query. Could you please restate.

RA︰我是 Ra。這個問題不清楚。你能再重新敘述嗎？

Questioner: You just stated that you had some problems with the instrument because of the ingestion of some chemical substance by the instrument. Can you tell me what the chemical substance was?

問︰你剛才提到你和器皿之間有點問題，是因為器皿攝取某些化學物質。你能否告訴我是什麼化學物質？

Ra: I am Ra. The substance of which we speak is called vibration sound complex, LSD. It does not give poor contact if it is used in conjunction with the contact. The difficulty of this particular substance is that there is, shall we say, a very dramatic drop-off of the effect of this substance. In each case this instrument began the session with the distortion towards extreme vital energy which this substance produces. However this entity was, during the session, at the point where this substance no longer was in sufficient strength to amplify the entity’s abilities to express vital energy. Thus, first the phenomenon of, shall we say, a spotty contact and then, as the instrument relies again upon its own vibrational complexes of vital energy, the vital energy in this case being very low, it became necessary to abruptly cut off communication in order to preserve and nurture the instrument. This particular chemical substance is both helpful and unhelpful in these contacts for the causes given.

RA︰我是 Ra。我們講到的這個物質被稱為［振動聲音複合體］LSD*。若它被使用的時機和該通訊同時間，並不會導致不良通訊。這個特殊物質的困難，容我們說，是很戲劇化的退場效果。在每一個案例，這個器皿開始集會時，擁有這個物質產生的極度生命能［變貌］。然而，這個實體在集會中的某一時點，這個物質不再有足夠的力量放大該實體表現生命能的能力。
因此，第一個現象就是，容我們說，時好時壞的傳輸，接著，當器皿再次倚賴它自身生命能的振動複合體，這個案例裡的生命能量變得非常低，就必須突然中斷通訊去保護和滋養器皿。從以上原因來看，這個特殊的化學物質在傳輸中既有益又無益。
（*譯註：LSD 在此為 Lysergic Acid Diethylamide 的縮寫，一種強力的迷幻藥。）

Questioner: Are there any foods that are helpful or harmful that the instrument might eat?

問︰有哪些食品是有益的或有害的，是器皿可以吃的？

Ra: I am Ra. This instrument has body complex distortion towards ill health in the distortion direction corrected best by ingestion of the foodstuffs of your grains and your vegetables as you call them. However, this is extremely unimportant when regarded as an aid with equality to other aids such as attitude which this instrument has in abundance. It, however, aids the vital energies of this instrument, with less distortion towards ill health, to ingest foodstuffs in the above manner with the occasional ingestion of what you call your meats, due to the instrument’s need to lessen the distortion towards low vital energy.

RA︰我是 Ra。器皿的身體複合體變貌趨向欠佳的健康，更正這個變貌取向的最好方式是攝取穀物和蔬菜［如你所稱］。
無論如何，跟其他幫助相較，這是極度不重要的，如（良好的）心態，在這方面器皿有豐富的協助。無論如何，用上述的方式攝取糧食，偶爾吃點［你們稱的］肉類，可以幫助器皿的生命能量減少趨向不健康的扭曲；器皿需要肉類減少趨向低生命能的扭曲。

Questioner: The entity Aleister Crowley wrote “Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law.” He was obviously of some understanding of the Law of One. Where is this entity now?

問︰我懂了，克勞里（Aleister Crowley）實體曾寫道“承行汝旨意即為全部的律法”。他明顯地理解一的法則的某些方面。這個實體目前在哪裡？

Ra: I am Ra. This entity is within your inner planes. This entity is in an healing process.

RA︰我是 Ra。這個實體位於內在（次元）層面，正在經歷一個治療過程。

Questioner: Did this entity, then, even though he intellectually understood the Law of One, misuse it and have to go through this healing process?

問：那麼，這個實體儘管智能上理解一的法則，卻誤用了它，而必須要經歷這個治療過程？

Ra: I am Ra. This entity became, may we use the vibration sound complex, overstimulated with the true nature of things. This over-stimulation resulted in behavior that was beyond the conscious control of the entity. The entity thus, in many attempts to go through the process of balancing, as we have described the various centers beginning with the red ray and moving upwards, became somewhat overly impressed or caught up in this process and became alienated from other-selves. This entity was positive. However, its journey was difficult due to the inability to use, synthesize, and harmonize the understandings of the desires of self so that It might have shared, in full compassion, with other-selves. This entity thus became very unhealthy, as you may call it, in a spiritual complex manner, and it is necessary for those with this type of distortion towards inner pain to be nurtured in the inner planes until such an entity is capable of viewing the experiences again with the lack of distortion towards pain.

RA︰我是 Ra。這個實體受到事物的真實本質的過度刺激［容我們用該振動聲音複合體］。這個過度刺激導致一些行為超越該實體顯意識的控制。
因此，這個實體多次嘗試走完平衡的過程，也就是我們曾描述的各個能量中心，始於紅色光芒（漸次）向上移動（的過程），（他）變得有些過度被銘印或陷入這個過程，而變得與其他-自我疏離。這個實體是正向的。無論如何，他的旅程是困難的。由於沒有能力去使用、綜合、協調自我渴望的理解，以致於它不能在完整的憐憫心之中（將知識）與其他-自我分享。於是這個實體變得非常不健康［如你所稱］在靈性複合體方面；對於那些具有內在疼痛［變貌］的實體，需要在內在次元平面中被滋養，直到這樣的實體能夠觀看這些經驗，而沒有朝痛苦的扭曲。

Session 19, February 8, 1981

第十九場集會，1981 年 2 月 8 日

（譯註：在 1998 年正式出版的英文卷五中，以下這段放在第十八場集會，但 Tobey 先生重聽錄音帶之後，確認應該要放在第十九場集會末尾！）

Questioner: I just have two little questions here at the end. The instrument wanted to ask if there were any other substances foods, etc. that she should not eat or drink or things that she should not do because she does not wish to have poor contact for any reason.

問：我最後只有兩個小問題，器皿要我問是否有任何物質，食物等是她不應該吃或喝的？或者有任何事情她不應該做，因為她不願意為任何原因而產生欠佳的通訊。

Ra: I am Ra. There is no activity which this instrument engages in which affects abilities negatively. There is one activity which affects its abilities positively. This is the sexual activity, as you would call it. There are substances ingested which do not aid the individual in the service it has chosen, this being that which you would call the marijuana. This is due to the distortion towards chemical lapses within the mind complex causing lack of synaptic continuity. This is a chemical reaction of short duration. This instrument, however, has not used this particular substance at any time while performing this service. We believe we have covered the use of such chemical agents as LSD, this being positive to a certain extent due to the energizing or speeding up of the vital forces. However, it is not recommended for this instrument due to the toll it takes upon the vital energies once the substance wears off. This being true of any speeding-up chemical.

RA：我是 Ra，這個器皿從事的活動沒有一個會負面地影響其能力。有一個活動可以正面地影響其能力，即性愛活動，如你所稱。器皿曾服用一些物質無助於它所選擇的服務，這個物質是你所稱的大麻。這是由於化學物質作用期間，該物質在心智複合體內導致神經突觸連續性的缺乏，這是短暫的化學作用。這個器皿在執行這項服務期間並未使用這個特定的物質。我們相信我們已經涵蓋化學藥劑如LSD 的用途，由於生命力（vital forces）的加速或增強，這個物質在某種程度是正面的，無論如何，並不推薦這個器皿使用，因為當這個物質的作用消退之後，器皿必須付出一些生命能的代價。這點也適用於任何加速型的化學製品。

［片斷九結束］